A Moment of Weakness

WORDS ARE POWERFUL, I ALWAYS BELIEVE THAT.

SO YOU FUCKER BETTER GIVE MY SHIT BACK, OR I SWEAR TO GOD, YOU WILL…

PLEASE, PLEASE, GIVE MY SHIT BACK, I’M POOR, I CAN’T AFFORD A LOSS LIKE THAT.

OR A FULL REFUND WOULD BE FANTASTIC.

FUCK YOU, IF YOU THINK I WAS DREAMING.

FUCK YOU, I’M NOT CRAZY.

I WILL GET MY SHIT OR MY FUCKING MONEY BACK.

ONE WAY OR ANOTHER.

THIS IS WAR.

FUCK YOU.

It’s a little premature to talk about summer, I’m still wearing a sweater at home.

But as a citizen of this freaky city, spring is just a story you’ve heard of, I believe it’s not existed. So it’s premature to talk about summer, like I said, just a little.

Seems like I always talk about the weather, how short the spring is, so is fall. I like this crazy old man mumbling about the same thing over and over and over.

Past didn’t haunt me, I’m the ghost of myself.

Su told me there are several sex clips flowing around the internet recently. I think it’s natural if some people enjoy themselves with these peep shows. And I also understand but not agree some other people like to play moralist. I don’t want to judge anyone here, I don’t have that right. I just want to provide some of my thoughts.

COME ON, it’s disgusting to use one hand to jerk yourself off and use the other to type such words like “whore” or “cunt” at the same time. These hypocrites are way worse.

You don’t have to “Hate the sin, love the sinner”, that’s bullshit. But at least have some dignity, and shut the fuck up.

I’m always afraid of ending up alone, with no one I can hold hand with.

That thought always scared me to death.

I couldn’t tell which one was more terrified, death or lonely.

Now I get my own version of answer, for me, no one can terrify me but myself.

You put walls around your dreams, your life. You limit your speed, can’t even feel the wind brush your hair.

You grab on something so tight which you don’t even want to have in first place.

As long as your life is safe, nothing else matters.

I live on that kind of life everyday. I don’t even have a dream or I’m too scared to have one.

Dream, what a cliche.

I’m not saying go for your dreams, do whatever it takes. Something is important, something is not.

Live your life, really live it with hundred percent of your energy. Do what you think is important.

Every minute you live or you waste, that’s OK. Be content, and don’t ever feel guilty.

It’s your life, don’t let other people tell you otherwise.

You are too smart.

You are too good.

Don’t waste that.

There’ll always be a light, a way out.

Drive, and never ever look back.

Mystic Odes 833
Our death is our wedding with eternity.
What is the secret? “God is One.”
The sunlight splits when entering the windows of the house.
This multiplicity exists in the cluster of grapes;
It is not in the juice made from the grapes.
For he who is living in the Light of God,
The death of the carnal soul is a blessing.
Regarding him, say neither bad nor good,
For he is gone beyond the good and the bad.
Fix your eyes on God and do not talk about what is invisible,
So that he may place another look in your eyes.
It is in the vision of the physical eyes
That no invisible or secret thing exists.
But when the eye is turned toward the Light of God
What thing could remain hidden under such a Light?
Although all lights emanate from the Divine Light
Don’t call all these lights “the Light of God”;
It is the eternal light which is the Light of God,
The ephemeral light is an attribute of the body and the flesh.
…Oh God who gives the grace of vision!
The bird of vision is flying towards You with the wings of desire.

Some girl on my fetion changed her nickname, and the new name brought up memories of my little crush in high school.

In general, my high school life sucked. So I don’t wanna talk about it. As the little crush, no point to talk about it neither. Something seems more innocent and beautiful in the memory.

I remember a line from a movie or a magazine, it said: some day, when you get a shower, or sit down and eat a bowl of noodles, a name that once means so much to you just pops up from nowhere, in that moment, you know, you are over that history.

According to this, I guess I’m over SR? I’d better be, or I’m a total loser who still hang on something happened hundreds of years ago. How pathetic is that?!

I remember you, and that’s it.

Routine check :

Accountancy Study————CHECK

Memorize Words—————CHECK

AM——I bent over, please be gentel =v=

Guess what, today was no difference from yesterday, big surprise = =

Since I always tell the truth, the whole truth, nothing but the truth, but guess what again, god just too busy to help you, big surprise…again = =

I just told dear Su I jumped from DENIAL to ACCEPTANCE, OK, who am I kidding.

I can see everything as a big fucking joke, I guess the others share the same point of view toward me.

Enough of the Self-Pity, routine check time

Accountancy Study————CHECK

Memorize Words—————CHECK

AM——FUCK

Same old crap as an ending, tomorrow will be better.